What Are the Most Important Questions to Ask Someone You Meet?

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.” – Hebrews 13:2

We hope that you are wisely reading other member profile descriptions and imagining what it might be like to have a conversation with them. And by now you may already be having some good conversations with other members of our site.  Remember: don’t fall into the trap of only looking at pictures and thinking from your gut.  It’s important to consider the values and lifestyle choices of someone first and foremost.  Then, you should have a solid conversation to talk about genuine topics and see whether you are able to communicate well, and to learn about each other.  In case you would like some ideas what to cover in these conversations, here are some important topics to address.

 It’s nice to start with a few simple things, like how are you today and so on.  But then do not be shy.  Ask many important questions (preferably each one several times in different ways) because this is the best way to learn whether the person you are about to meet is the right person for you.

You should ask these important questions when you chat on webcam (if you are able to chat on webcam).  Then later when you meet in person, you should ask them again.  Maybe you will find that he or she is the angel you’ve been waiting to meet for so many years.  Or maybe an angel, but just not meant for you.  Be respectful, but be comprehensive.

Here are important questions we recommend you ask as soon as possible.

  1. What is your occupation?

  2. What can you do well?

  3. What is the one thing about yourself that you would like me to know?

  4. Have you had a long-term relationship? Why did it end?

  5. What do you think is the most important value in a relationship?

  6. Have you been married before?

  7. Do you have any children?  How do you feel about children?

  8. If you are married, who would you honor first: your spouse or your friends or your parents or your children (if applicable)?

  9. Is God important to you?  What is your relationship with God like?

  10. Tell me about a biblical story you like.

  11. Describe your perfect date.

  12. What are the things you do for fun?

  13. What foods do you like to cook or eat?

  14. Do you prefer living in a city, town, or farm?

  15. Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

  16. Do you have any bad habits?

  17. Are you a morning or night person?

  18. What do you look for in a friend or spouse?

  19. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?

  20. What makes you laugh or cry?

  21. What’s your biggest frustration?

  22. How much effort would you dedicate to learning your future spouse’s language?

  23. What are your fears?

  24. What is your most favorite childhood memory?

  25. Would you like to spend some more time getting to know each other?

Feel free to add your suggested questions/topics as comments below, as well.

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Why Choose Christian Filipina To Meet Someone?

God said: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Many choices we make are with us forever. Once we make these decisions in our life, filipina customer service agentwe live with those decisions. Sometimes it may be best to make the right decisions at an early stage, or else risk putting off wise choices, then later realizing that it’s already the end of the road and there is not much time left.

One of the most challenging roads in life is probably the road to finding your soulmate. Looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with is not an easy highway route. Rather, it is a narrow, steep, and risky road. On the other hand, the road is there.  And God has put you on the road.  Why else are you reading this letter today from Christian Filipina?

We are proud of you for taking the risk to look for a way to meet your soulmate, set up your profile, and consider whether this is the time God has in mind for you to meet someone.  Why is choosing Christian-Filipina as one of your means and methods one of the best choices you have made?



our members and pray for you all to experience the best that life has to offer.  We teach you everything we know about dating, friendship, and the benefits and drawbacks of internet dating. We answer your questions, and act on your feedback to improve our site.

2. CHRISTIAN FILIPINA ENSURES A SAFE DATING ENVIRONMENT –   The Christian-Filipina family tries its best to maintain a dating environment of sincere men and women free of scammers and criminals. We make sure that you are surrounded with people who won’t mean you any harm.  Our site is protected by SSL and PCI security, and our staff personally monitors our new members, upgrades, profile changes, and investigates any suspicious activity.

 3. CHRISTIAN FILIPINA BUILDS MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS - Our members are kind and God-fearing.  They are not looking for brief affairs.  And we as a staff make clear to our members that we do not encourage casual affairs either.  We believe that meaningful friendships are important, and we believe that long-term commitment in the form of marriage is a gift that two people can give themselves.  We encourage our members to be conservative, patient, sincere, and serious, and to be open to relationships that are guided and bounded with God’s word and imbued with God’s values.
verified stamp4. CHRISTIAN FILIPINA HAS A REPUTATION AND HISTORY OF BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER - Every day we receive messages from our members who have met at our site and share their story with us.  They share with us their joys, and we are honored and humbled by their testimonies.  We invite you to read some testimonial pages in the testimonial section of our site, as an inspiration and to learn about some of the couples who have met at Christian Filipina.

Joining Christian Filipina is a gift you have given yourself.  Take your time, get to know our advice from our advice articles blog, and get to know our members.  Thank you for believing in Christian-Filipina and taking this step for yourself here with us!

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Deron Smallcomb Interview about Fiance and Spousal Visas for the Philippines

Over the past year, we at Christian Filipina have been considering whether or not we Wedding Ringswanted to expand our services to immigration processing help, and/or partner with any immigration specialists from the US, Canada, Australia, or other countries.  At the present time, we have decided to recommend one visa processor who has helped many of our past members, allowing us to continue focusing on improving our website and assisting our present members.  I have been in touch with Deron Smallcomb who has been working in immigration law for several years, and I now recommend to our members to consider his services if you are a US citizen seeking to have your Filipina fiance or wife come to the US.  I recently interviewed Deron, and we have decided to publish this interview here on our blog for our members to learn more about the immigration process.  We also begged him to offer a discount to our members, and he finally relented, so make sure you read to the end!

Hi Deron, I understand that you have recently setup a new website http://fiancevisaphilippines.com/ – but I know that many of our past members who met on our site have already used your services before this website was even setup. Why did you setup this new website? And how long have you actually been assisting visa applicants to travel to the U.S.?

Peter, thank you for allowing me to answer these immigration questions for the users of Christian Filipina. It is my obligation to first say that while I am an attorney, this information is only general and not a substitute for legal advice. This information does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

That said, our office has already helped many of your users start their lives in the USA, and we hope to help many more. As a business, we began doing fiancé visas and marriage visas on a national scale three years ago. Previous to that, I did my first fiancé visa for my now wife in early 2007.

After many years, I can proudly say that we have literally helped thousands of couples begin their lives together in the USA, the largest percentage of which come from the Philippines.

Because we help several hundred couples in the Philippines annually, we recently launched http://fiancevisaphilippines.com/ to better cater to the specific questions our clients generally have with regards to bringing their loved one from the Philippines on either a fiancé or marriage visa.

We also employ three Philippines specialists, all of which speak Tagalog and other dialects, to support our clients’ loved ones in the Philippines.

Do you only serve clients who are seeking visas from the Philippines, or also from other countries?

Through EasyFianceVisa.com and EasyMarriageVisa.com we help clients who have loved ones all over the world. That said, about 40% of our clients have a loved one in the Philippines, hence the specialization.

Sometimes we hear from men or women that they would like to find a shortcut route around the immigration visa process, by having the Filipina travel to the U.S. on either a tourist or work visa. I know what I always tell our members who ask about this, but I’ld like to hear it from the expert also. What is your experience with this type of plan?

The good news is that we help a large number of couples who are here legally on other visas each year apply for their ‘Green Card’ after marriage in the USA.

The bad news is that very few are Filipina, otherwise our most active country.

There really are no shortcuts to legal immigration. Many desire to bring someone over on a visitor/tourist visa, but realistically it isn’t common. For a single woman who isn’t independently wealthy or employed in a top white-collar profession (Doctor, Lawyer, etc..), the odds are staggering. However, if you are willing to take a trip over there and meet the other qualifications, you are likely eligible for a fiancé visa. This visa typically only takes 6-7 months from start-to-finish.

Why does the visa process take so long?

Basically, three different entities need to approve the process. Two entities in the USA and finally our Embassy in Manila have to give their stamp of approval before your fiancé/spouse can travel to the USA.

For a fiancé visa it has been taking about 6 months for quite a while now. A marriage visa takes about 8-10 months because it is evaluated more thoroughly domestically before the petition is sent to our consulate in Manila. However the end result is permanent residence, also known as a ‘Green Card’, without additional cost or paperwork.

Once men and women meet in person, and are either engaged or married, what are their next steps in gathering the paperwork and getting the visa in process?

Once someone has fulfilled the requirements for either a fiancé visa or marriage visa, we need to prove it to multiple government agencies over a period of multiple months. The specifics are quite detailed, but in general we need to prove that the ‘Petitioner’ fiancé is a US Citizen, able to support his fiancé, both are free to marry, generally without criminal history or previous filings, have a genuine relationship, and intend to marry upon entry into the USA.

We assign each of our clients to a caseworker that will help both the US Citizen and the foreign spouse/fiancé collect and provide the required information for a successful filing. We also use a special website that is in both English and Tagalog/Filipino to collect this information from both parties.

If a couple is already living together in the Philippines, how does that affect their visa application process if they would like to visit or live in the United States? Can they apply directly from the Philippines? Would you still assist them?

Generally applying for a visitor visa doesn’t affect a fiancé or marriage visa petition. However, as previously mentioned the odds of obtaining this visa are not good. Because of the difficulty of success and unwavering immigration policy set forth by our politicians, we do not assist couples with this process. If one was interested in applying despite the odds, they could find information at http://manila.usembassy.gov/nonimmigrant-visa.html.

I’ve heard of a past practice called Direct Consular Filing, which made it possible for couples living in the Philippines to apply for their fiance or spouse visa at the embassy there. Is that possible still now?

To my knowledge, the DCF no longer exists.

Can a couple begin the visa process before they have met in person?

One could begin the process, but could not file until the meeting has taken place. That said it is prudent to begin early because these petitions are quite lengthy and do not happen overnight. Many clients sign up with a down payment 1-2 months prior to their trip so that they can file immediately upon meeting. This generally will cut up to a month or so off the otherwise long process.

Based on your experience with so many couples from the Philippines, what advice can you offer on how a man or woman can find the best match for them, and then how can they build a lasting relationship with that person?

From what I have both read about the statistics and observed personally, US/Filipina couples are very successful and rarely divorce. Part of the reason in my mind is the commonalities between our cultures and beliefs. Many of our clients, and clearly your users, have strong religious beliefs that are commonly held in our cultures. Many also share a strong commitment to building a family. Whatever your interest in your relationship, that is exactly what you should pursue. Make sure that your partner shares your beliefs and interests. There are many beautiful Filipinas out there, and many wonderful people, make sure you find the person that you think the world of, and that they think the same of you. With a solid foundation, you will build a solid life together.

Finally, can you offer any small discount coupon for verified members of our site to use your services?

Our prices are highly competitive already, far less than a typical law firm. That said, we will offer a discount to your members. If someone is a Diamond, Platinum, or Lifetime  ‘Christian Filipina’ member and we verify that, we will discount 10% off of their total package price for either or standard or platinum package. That amounts to $80-$100 off depending on what package you choose.


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Using Site Features For Your Safety

We have designed our site to give our members many ways to keep safe.  Some of these features you don’t need to even pay attention to (for instance our screening protocols for new members) because they are handled for you.

We are also the one and only Filipina dating site (and one of the only dating sites of any kind) which offers its members the security of browsing the site 100% securely. We do this by making our site “ssl” and “https” enabled, the same protocol used by banks and brokerage websites. We had to invest to enable our site and servers to operate at this highly secure level, and we did it because your security is one of our top concerns. Different browsers will show this “https” feature differently, but it will usually look about like this in the URL bar:

Our Server and Site Support https When You Are Online

Our Server and Site Support https When You Are Online


However, in addition to what we do to keep you safe, it’s also important for you to take an active role in your own online security.  You’re off to a good start because you’re reading our advice article blog right now.  Make sure you take the time to read as many articles from this blog as possible.  It might take quite a few visits to read all our advice, but it will save you time in the long run.

Here are some other important site features with which you should become familiar, and a few related tips.

Ban a Profile

Profile Buttons

Click “Add to Banned List” and You’ll Never See the Profile Again

When you are viewing a profile and for whatever reason, you know the person is not for you, just click “Add to Banned List” and you’ll never see that profile again.  The member won’t be able to contact you, and their profile will no longer show up when you are searching our member database.  It’s not impolite, either.  It’s just smart.



Report a Profile

Report a Problem

Report A Problem by Selecting the Problem Type and Clicking Report

If any member has an indecent or disrespectful profile, or writes to you in a suspicious way, please let us know.  Just send us an email with the user number and a description of the issue, or click to report the profile right from the profile page.  To report a profile easily, just scroll down to the bottom of the profile page, select a problem type, and click “report”.

Use Strict Age Limits

Use Age Preference Strict

Use Age Preference Strict To Use Your Time Efficiently

Some of the most problematic members on any Filipina dating site might not even be in the age range you are considering.  So make it easy on yourself by using our “strict age preference” feature.  Set your preferred age range when you edit your profile, and on this same page set “Age preference strict” to ON.  This will make it impossible for members outside your desired age range to find you and interact with you, so you can concentrate on meeting the right person for you.

Correspond Inside Our Site Only – Don’t Share Your Contact Information

Don't Share Contact Details With Strangers

Don’t Share Contact Details With Strangers

Don’t give out your contact information until you know people well.  It is much better to correspond in our site.  Scammers do not like to correspond in our site, because they know that they will be quickly caught and removed from our site.  So they will try to get you to switch to using normal email addresses or messengers.  Don’t fall for the trick.  If anyone on our site (or any dating site) asks to correspond via IM or asks for your phone number or other contact information, simply say, “I prefer to correspond here for now.”  If it is a sincere person, he or she will be happy to correspond in our site also.  If not, that’s someone you are better off avoiding or reporting to us.

Take Your Time

Don’t become financially or emotionally involved with anyone you have not yet met in person.  We have written in other blog articles about it, but just as a brief reminder, never send money to anyone who you have not met in person. If anyone tells you a story and tries to get you to send them money, you absolutely should not do it.  Do not fall for any pity trap or get rich quick scheme or nanny scam.  If anyone you meet on our site ever asks you to send them or anyone money, you should email to us what is going on and ask for our advice.

We also recommend that you should not become too emotionally involved with someone you have not yet met either.  If you find yourselves becoming emotionally involved, it is not time to make distant promises or send gifts.  It is time to get a plane ticket and meet in person.

Use Our Webcam Chat

Chat Online Button

Use Our Website Chat With Webcam. Click ‘Chat Online’.

One of the best ways to have safe, meaningful conversations with other members is with our webcam chat software, right inside our site.  This is available for any member who is Gold level or above.  (Remember, as with all site features, only one of the two members needs to be upgraded to Gold or above.  The other member can still be free level.)  When you are both online, you’ll see the Chat Online button at the bottom of the other member’s profile.  Just click it, and you will be able to chat in real time.  If you have a webcam and/or headset, you’ll also be able to hear and/or see each other.  We recommend that you insist your chat mate use use a webcam and headset to chat with you.  (And don’t believe anyone who asks you to send money to buy a webcam.  There are internet cafes in every rural and metropolitan area with computers with working webcams.)

Reach Out and Ask Us!

Finally, anytime you are concerned or confused about any aspect of using the site, just ask us for help.  Call us at 800 578 1469.  Or email us.  Or use the feedback form at the bottom of any page of the site.  You are not alone.  We are always happy to hear from and help out our members.  Thousands of Christians have met their match at our site.  Take your time and let yourself meet people over the course of several months, and you will also find that you have many new friends, one of whom might be the one God meant for you.



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Planning A Trip to the Philippines

We strongly recommend to our members from outside the Philippines to visit the country, if possible several times.  It is a great chance to meet people, and it is a great country to visit.

Overall, most of the Philippines is safe, and the Filipino people are friendly to visitors.

You can find many resources on visiting, from a US government guide, to Wikitravel Philippines, and dozens of guidebooks and websites. You can also review forums such as Philippines Living or the many other forums for visitors to and residents of the Philippines.

Some of our members ask about the best time of year to visit.  But our opinion is that anytime can be fine.  The rainy and dry seasons in the Philippines are not as distinct as in some tropical countries, so even the rainy season is not always rainy and the dry season also is not completely without rain.  During summer and fall months, there is increased risks of typhoons which can be an inconvenience.  But our opinion is that for most people the experience is worth the inconvenience.

There are many old and new things to see first-hand in the Philippines

The two typical entry points into the Philippines are either Manila or Cebu, but these are not the only two cities you can fly to.  There are direct flights into other airports as well, and you can also get an international ticket which includes a domestic segment to connect you to another city, whether that is Dumaguete (where we met), or any of dozens of other cities in any other province.

If you have enough time, you might try to visit a few places.  And do try to experience both the city and the countryside.  Don’t try to find the cheapest hotels; something mid-range will still be quite cheap per night by most visitor’s standards and yet feel more comfortable for a visit.

The most important thing is to “just do it” and buy your tickets  - whether it is a week or a few weeks or even a month or more – go ahead, buy your tickets and go.  Then you can let any other members on our site know that you have a trip planned, and tell them you would like to meet casually in person.

When you are going to meet someone else from our site, remember to ask them to bring one or at most two people (depending on your comfort level) along to meet you in a public place for an inexpensive meal.  Don’t try to impress anyone by paying for an expensive meal; just stick to something simple to get started on the right foot in person indicating that personal values are more important to you than material ones.

One final point, you will need a passport to travel to the Philippines, but from most countries including the USA you do not need a visa to go there.  You will get 3 weeks automatically when you arrive at the airport, and then you can extend that time if you wish at any local immigration office in two month increments.

If you have any other questions, feel free to add them to the comments, and we will do our best to answer your questions.

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Should You Consider Living in the Philippines?

Many of our members write to us asking our opinion of living in the Philippines.  Since we did live there, we do have some experiences to share and some suggestions to offer.
As you should know from reading our past advice articles in our blog, common sense and visa issues both require a couple to spend time together in person.  Because the Philippines does not require a complicated visa for most people, it is usually the best place to meet first.  And the Philippines is definitely a great place to visit.  Many of our members also consider living in the Philippines.
We met in the Philippines, and we lived there in the Visaya region near Cebu for about a year together.  We considered staying longer.  But based on our own experience and what we learned from others, we decided to process the visa to live in the USA. After processing the visa, we have now been living here in Hawaii, USA for almost two years.
There are hundreds of thousands of foreign men who live for a few years or more in the Philippines.  There are even a few foreign women who live in the Philippines.  However, in our experience the foreigners remain permanently outsiders, legally and culturally.  In part it is an isolation imposed by the Filipino culture and laws, and in part it is a self-imposed isolation from the rest of the Philippines.
Foreigners in the Philippines do not experience the same protection and rights (legally or practically) as Filipinos, in their country.  From the laws about land ownership (foreigners are prohibited from land ownership and ownership of controlling interests in most businesses) to police service, the foreigner in the Philippines is not entitled to the rights or protection he often expects for himself.  Additionally, the hardships of life in the Philippines (high crime, unreliable utilities, needy families) force most foreigners to set create their own boundaries and infrastructure.
Here in Hawaii, when we go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, to transfer a car title, we pay 5 dollars, and within 5 minutes we have a new title in our name.  In the Philippines, this would take either days at the corresponding offices (if not months), or employing a “fixer” who would do some combination of waiting and bribing in order to process the paperwork.  The same story applies to land ownership and processing of other papers, many of which will be required for a marriage license and passport application.  Of course these issues are not unique to the Philippines.  Living in Central America, Africa, or many other places in Asia would generally be similar, based on our research.
Another consideration we had in mind was whether to have children born and raised in the Philippines.  We heard too many stories of doctors who routinely pushed high percentages of expectant mothers into the operating room for caesareans if they believed the mother had the funds to pay for this more expensive form of birth, regardless as to whether there was any indication that a normal birth would have complications.
So, these issues, and the isolation they require in order for a foreigner to maintain sanity living long-term in the Philippines, are significant.  They must be weighed against the benefits of living in the Philippines: warm weather; inexpensive rent, public transportation, dental work, and food; a sense of popularity; a good chance to meet a sincere Christian Filipina; beautiful islands and beaches; delicious and abundance mango, coconut, and other fruits.
In summary, our recommendation is that it is nice to visit the Philippines, and can also be a pleasant place to rent a small apartment for several months or perhaps up to a year if your schedule allows.  It gives an opportunity to get to know a Filipina and to be married and to be together for some time in her place.  However, we do not recommend putting the cart before the horse and committing yourself to living permanently in the Philippines before living there for six months or more on an experimental basis.  And in most cases, we believe most foreigners and their wives will ultimately be happier back in their own countries.
If you would like to research more on this topic, there are dozens of other web sites and groups on the topic of foreigners living in the Philippines.  We do warn you to be careful, because many of them are closely censored by their website owners who seek to present their own specific idea of what the Philippines is.  Actually we did also start a forum about living in the Philippines which you are welcome to review, and if you wish, to join.  We started it a few years ago when we still lived in the Philippines, and it has not been very active since we left there.
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Things You Should Never, Ever, Ever Do

We have said most of this before in previous blogs, but once again we have to remind our members about some of our most important recommendations.  Here is what you should not do, and what else to do instead.

do not do this in online dating (stop hand)

Never Send Money To Any Online Contact You Have Not Met In Person, Or To Any Third Party

Our site is the best site for meeting sincere Christians in Asia. We have thousands of members who join every month from dozens of countries around the world. Most of them are sincere people. However, every day we have insincere, and even outright malicious persons who join our site to attempt to defraud others and take advantage of them.  We have learned many of the patterns of these kinds of people, and when we review every new profile and every profile change, we permanently suspend all that we find to be inappropriate.  In addition, when one of them slips past our review, our members alert us to it when they notice something suspicious.  So we have the fewest percentage of insincere and criminal members of any dating site we know of.  But in case you are ever asked to send money to someone you met through our site (or any site), before you meet in person, you absolutely should not do it.  Nor should you send money to a “travel agent”, “visa service”, “package delivery service”, or any other third party.  These are all scams.  If you are ever asked to do this from someone you met on our site, or are ever tempted to send money for any reason, do not do it.  What you should do instead is to immediately inform us, by sending us an email, and telling us the user number of the person who asked for money, and sending us any communication that might help us understand the situation.

Never Ask For Money From Another Person You Have Not Met In Person

When our members join the site, they agree to our terms of service.  Our terms state that it is against our rules to solicit money from anyone else on the site.  If you are reported for violating these terms, we will suspend your account, and we will not allow you to open another account.  Instead, you should make sure that you never ask any other member of our site to send money to you or to anyone else.  Our site is for making friends, and we believe new friends do not ask each other for money.

Never Fall In Love With Someone You Have Not Met In Person

We have stated clearly in our suggestions that our site is for meeting friends.  We are very happy to have singles join our site, and we do hope that many will go from being friends to committed husband and wife.  Indeed, we have received hundreds of testimonials from members who have met on our site and now have joined as husband and wife.  But we suggest that you should not rush the process. Do not try to find the cheapest, quickest way to get married.  It will be more expensive and more painful in the long run if you misprioritize this.   Instead, what we recommend is that you meet and get to know as friends 3-10 people as friends from our site.  Then meet as many of them as possible in person as friends before you consider which indeed shares your values well enough to spend more time together.  For many of our men, this might mean taking an extra trip, as we find that our men tend to be the ones who can and do travel when meetings actually take place.  But in the long run, taking the extra time is going to be worth it.  Or if you have enough time, you can take a very long first trip.  For our ladies, our advice is also to not fall in love, or even be committed to, people they have not met in person.  Absolutely encourage each other to prioritize a personal meeting, but we do not encourage you to ask each other to be exclusive before meeting in person.  Take it slowly.  Be 100% honest.  When the time comes, after you have met in person, that might be a time to talk about being exclusive if you are ready for it and have shared values. But until you have met in person, don’t fall in love.  Friends first.

Never Give Up Without Contacting Us With Your Concerns First

A customer service representative helping you in addressing your concerns and ready in giving pieces of advice

A customer service representative helping you in addressing your concerns and ready in giving pieces of advice

When our members cancel their accounts, we ask them to fill our a small form so we know their reasons for canceling.  Often, it’s because they have met their special someone.  Sometimes, however, it’s because they have a concern.  Anything from being contacted by a scammer, or because they saw a man’s picture by mistake in the women’s section, or because their computer wasn’t able to log in sometimes, or because they feel our fees for upgraded memberships are not what they expected.  If you ever have a concern like this – or any other concern – please contact us. Use the feedback form at the bottom of any page of the main site.  Or from US/Canada call us up toll-free at 800-578-1469 and talk to us, the owners of the site. We rely on feedback from our members to help maintain the site.  It’s a group effort, and it’s thanks to our members that the site is #1 for Christian dating in Asia.

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A to Z Steps for Bringing Your Wife to the USA

image of US visa

Take Your Time, Be Realistic and Responsible, and You Can Get A Visa to the USA When You Are Ready

Since we met in the Philippines and then after our marriage moved to the USA, we have personal experience with the process of immigration to the USA. In addition, from the many people we have known in person and through the website, we have continued to learn about this process. Since many of our members ask us about this, we will share some of this information here. Our apologies to our many members from other countries that we do not have as much information in their respective countries of the details of immigration.

It is nearly impossible for any person from the Philippines to travel to the US on a tourist visa because of the requirement in the visa application process that they prove sufficient ties to their home country. There are very long lines every day outside the US embassy in Manila of hundreds of men and women who pay over $100 each to get a 2-minute opportunity to ask for a tourist visa, and almost all of them are immediately rejected because they are considered likely to overstay their tourist visas illegally.

For this reason, any US citizen who considers marriage with a Filipina should plan to get her a fiance or spousal visa and never waste time, money, or tears on attempting to get a tourist visa. Fiance and spousal visas to the US, in our experience, take 8-12 months to process from initial application to the final issuance of the visa. In order to even apply, the US citizen must have income or assets above a certain minimum. In addition, there must be recent photos of the couple together.

As we have written in previous blog entries, we recommend that our gentlemen plan a trip to meet several of our members in person as friends. Then after meeting in person, if one of those develops to the point of engagement or marriage, that’s the time to begin the process of the visa application (unless of course you intend to live together in the Philippines, which many couples do also).

Some of our members ask how much should they save in order to be ready for this process. While everyone’s experience is different, as a very rough guide, here is a minimal budget:

Airfare for one trip $1000
Expenses for one month $1000
Immigrant Visa application fees $1000
Travel expenses for your fiance/wife $1000

In our case, we also paid for an expert to help us with the visa application process, which was less than $1000. We have met some who prefer to do their own applications, but in our case we did not want to waste time with trying to second-guess the visa forms and preferred to have someone to help us get it right the first time.

Technically speaking, according to some interpretations of the immigrant visas, the US citizen is supposed to maintain a residence in the US while the visa is being processed. However, on a personal level, we feel that our choice to live together in the Philippines during that time was best for us. Consider your own situation, and figure out what is best for you.

We apologize if our blog post on this topic cannot answer the specific details of exact timelines (which can vary depending on your situation) or even budget. You can consult an expert or a lawyer or the immigration department website for more information when you get to the point of making your choices.

As one final note, we sometimes hear that a couple is considering whether to get married in the Philippines or the USA (or both), based on the implications for the visa. We think this is backwards and unnecessary. If you are ready, then consider what is right for the two of you before God and in the context of your families. The visas will be available for you whatever choice makes sense on a personal level.

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An Example of a Scammer Targeting Ladies

Every single day, we have applications for members to our site from criminals who seek to prey on our members and steal from our members.  Usually, we have become quite good at recognizing their applications for membership.  And we deny them membership.  But sometimes we miss one of these criminals, and by mistake we allow them to be members of the site.  Here is an example of one of the criminals who joined our site about 1 week ago and tricked us.

The profile was for “Frederick Bundchen” who claimed to be from Elizabethtown, Kentucky, United States.  This is what he wrote in his profile:

I am patient,generous, kind, and loving. I am always upbeat, have a positive attitude about most things and I like to have fun. I like football,movies,swimming,dancing,cooking,singing in the choir at church,listening to music,shopping,taking walks at night and looking at the stars,watching the sunset,eating at a very nice restaurant and going to live concerts,theater, movies and art. I love to travel, and to go sightseeing. I love museums, romantic dinners,…..And I am a fun loving person who loves to laugh and make others laugh. I always try to enjoy the simple things in life,and not take anything for granted.I’ve a naturally curious mind and love to learn about peoples, cultures, and so many other things…I love romantic dinners,

The profile included pictures of a man, a woman, and a boy about 5 years old.

We approved this application for membership in the site.  Then the member upgraded the membership by paying using a credit card and began contacting members sending ladies his email address federickbundchen@yahoo.com.  When one of our lady members wrote to the man, he responded by claiming he wanted to hire a nanny and was going to help the lady get a visa to the USA to be the nanny.  Here are the emails he sent:

Hello Dear,


Thanks for your reply and interest in the job I am really willing to get a Driver and Nanny down to the US soon and I told you that i am going to Pay you 3,000Sdollars a month and that will be for the Up keep of Driver and Nanny to where ever. I have Duplex Building with 8 Bedrooms and 2 living rooms and that is all I Want you to take care of You’ll have a room to yourself with a complete Working system with internet facilities which Will enable you communicate with your friends And Family daily.
The reason why I need a driver and Nanny is because I will be moving out of city due to official duty .Now I have to go on a naval course for 6 months And I need a Driver and Nanny in aupair to take care of my kids I understand that you might not have your Visa processed yet and I have already discussed With the United state Immigration service about My intention to get the service of a Driver and Nanny to Take care of my kids while I am on national Duty…..Since I am a Naval officer and I hardly Stay at home…So this is how I intend to make Everything work…
I will give you the email of the immigration Office as well as my Naval license ID number so That they will know that I directed you to the Immigration office for the processing of your Visa…..I will take good care of your departure and arrival to the US when your Visa processing is Completed…But you will have to pay for your Visa registration fee yourself which cost about $225US.
This is because The Immigration has mandated it that the Applicant will address the Visa Registration fee because the payment Receipt will be attached to your papers and The name on it will be used for the processing of all your Papers….and when the processing get done,it will be sent to you via a courier service.More over alert will send to US immigration,US embassy and POEA in your home country as soon as your visa is ready and you will be call for interview .The reason why you have to pay for your Visa registration Yourself is because the immigration office has made it Compulsory that it is the applicant who pays for Her visa registration because I have once been Cheated by a Filipino whom I paid all her expense And when he got his papers, he did not show up to me…So the thing is this, i am going to help you mak sure that you get your visa at all cost. With my influence……I really need a honest and sincere person to work for me…. I think the registration fee for Asia foreigners hoping to work in the US is 225USdollars so that is all they will ask you to pay and the rest will be my doing about 4,700USdollar …I will check out Philippine Work abroad agencies and i will make sure all is set For you. This is all that I have planned down so if you are OK with it, do mail me back. But if you will ask Me to pay your Visa Registration fee for you, please Don’t write me back.Contact me back only if you are ready for this or Maybe I should just get someone else as this is Very important and urgent…Please get back to Me by email only.. I will be away for 6 months and you Will be the one taking care of my safety.
Mr Frederick B Underway Navy.
US Naval Officer

and also this message:

Thanks for your Kind message and interest to Go further with this offer.Immigration will only ask you to pay for visa registration fee which is $225US,I will be the one to pay for your visa placement and airfare total cost $4700US…now I am convinced that I have someone who Will be able to take care of my safety and my home….I am going to write the immigration office to notify them that you will be sending Application for Visa and other traveling Papers and i will have them linked up with you……
They already provided me with the opportunity to bring in 2 foreigner to the US and they have given me the serial code which I am going to give To you. And you will write to them by email and they will know that you are my client and I referred You to them…
I will give you their email and you will email them And tell them you were referred for your visa processing and immigration licensing From Mr……..of the US Naval force…And then you provide them with your immigrant serial code which is Ref: 3829-44632-us-28891-ph And include your full name and address.You are also going to be contacted by the department of foreign affairs over there in your home town and they will get you the necessary documents…..ok?
I am trying to make sure everything get arranged quickly And soon enough. This is the immigrations office E-mail…..
Contact them as soon as possible.
Take care
Best Regards
Mr Frederick B
US Naval Officer 140 barbara circle,Elizabethtown, Kentucky 42701

We were informed of this by one of our careful members who was suspicious about the email she had received.  When we investigated, we suspended the profile of the member immediately because it is clearly a criminal fraud.

As we have written previously many times, do not ever send money to anyone you have never met in person. This applies to men as well as to women.  If you ever have any of our members attempt to ask you for money, please write to us immediately so that we can investigate.

Over time, as our site becomes more popular, we know that more and more scammers will seek to break in.  We see criminal scammers claiming to be from Philippines, USA, Africa, England, China.  We continue to change the way our site works to make it more and more difficult for the scammers to take advantage of our members.  We believe that we have the largest percentage of sincere members of any Asian dating site, and the smallest percentage of insincere, scammers, and criminals, thanks to our custom improvements to our system, our dedication to educating our members about these issues, and to our members who immediately inform us when any other member attempts to trick them.  If you are curious sometime, you may want to visit and join some of the other dating sites and see for yourself how many criminals there are on the internet trying to fool other persons.

Remember, take your time when getting to know anyone, whether it’s someone you meet in person or on our site or on any other internet site.  And never send money to anyone you haven’t met in person.

**UPDATE 8/31/2010**

We just had another scammer who joined our site with a similar “nanny scam” scenario… As with some previous scammers, this member had a profile showing a man with a child.  As with previous apparently-male scammers, the user upgraded his membership with a payment, then sent the following message:

My name is james evans,i am sorry for contacting you this way but i believed you are good christain.Am a single father with a son named Dennis Evans,i worked as a construction engineer but self employed and i lived in london.United kingdom.  So am in need of a babysitter for my son and i will be paying you the sum of 500 pounds weekly as your wages,so if you have interest in helping me look after my son and you do have a valid passport.  Send me a message me on my id james_evans00001@yahoo.com for more details of the job and do not take this message as insult if its looks beyond your standard.


We have not yet heard of any of our ladies who has fallen prey to any of these scammers who have tried to infiltrate our site.  We hope that we continue with that record, and in order to do so we commit to continuing to educate all of our members about the fraudsters who attempt to join our site, and we commit to continue our high degree of vigilance of our members who apply to join our site.  If at some time, an honest person has his or her profile suspended, we apologize for this.  If this happens to you, please calmly contact us through our feedback form and/or email so that we can investigate closely and fix any error we might make.  We do our best to identify suspicious profiles and research them carefully to suspend them as soon as possible.  Now after reading some of the stories, we hope you understand why we are so careful, occasionally even to a fault.


We believe the same scammer uses the following email addresses as well:  livinggod11@hotmail.com, bestofb@ymail.comgodownmylife@live.com,u.ktraveltorism@gmail.combestbetter10@hotmail.com.

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Cotabato and Mindanao

Over the past year, we have kept an informal record of scammers who have been identified on our site.  We have had scammers claiming to be from the Philippines, the U.S., U.K., Nigeria, and elsewhere, some of whom we know are really from the places they claim to be from, and some whom are not.  We do our best both to remove scammers from our site and to educate our members about this important subject so that they can avoid emotional and financial traps.  As soon as we are sure about any new intelligence, we post it in our letters and blogs, for all our members to read.

Muslim Ladies at a Computer in the Philippines

Insist On Webcam Chat. Don't Get Tricked!

We have found that ladies from the area of Mindanao tend to be more likely to be scammers, and in particular, those from Cotabato.  All things considered, with the increased quantity of scammers from this area and the increased risks of violence in Mindanao, we now recommend that our members exercise extreme caution with any person from this region.

The behaviors we have seen in the scammers that characterize Cotabato and Mindanao are typical of Philippine scams: fake photos; reluctance to appear on webcam; requests to purchase webcams, computers, cell phones; premature declarations of love; preference for chatting on yahoo messenger rather than on our site; insistence on needing money for many different reasons; form letters; being online all the time; suggestion to circumvent immigration laws; request for excessive money to correct passport or birth certificate problems; they can be of any age but tend to be young, sometimes even in violation of our terms of service they are under 18 and lie about their age on their profile.

We also, however, want to draw your attention to some conversations we have had with one of our contacts who shared with us some of his experience with meeting people from Cotabato in the past.  In these conversations, we learned that some of the ladies claiming to be from Davao, Zamboanga, and elsewhere in Mindanao were actually in or from Cotabato.  This reinforced what we have observed as well.  Even more absurd, many of these ladies who claim to be Catholic or Christian from these areas are actually Muslim.  Many of the Muslims are part of a Muslim clan called Ampatuan which you can read about on your own.  They view outsiders who are not from their clan as enemies and are taught by teachers and parents to steal from enemies as part of holy war.  They are taught that laws of behavior do not apply to the way they treat those outside their clan.  They also work in teams, coming up with schemes to solicit funds; who you talk to one day on a YM might be a different person from the day before which might be a different person from who answers a phone; and a different person may occasionally do a webcam chat and/or receive money sent.  When they are successful, the money that is sent does not go to the poor children or education or medicine, but to the politicians and religious leaders directly, with only a possible commission going to the web scam team.

In this context, we reiterate our guideline recommendations for our members:

  • insist on chatting on webcam with those you meet online
  • do not send any money to anyone you have met online who you have never met in person
  • chat on our christian-filipina.com chat service, rather than yahoo messenger
  • familiarize yourself with all of our blog entries, and with stories from others at other sites like dragonladies.org
  • if any member ever asks you directly or indirectly for money, report it immediately from their profile page with the ‘report a problem’ feature
  • if you have any questions, please email us using the feedback link; if your question involves another member, send it from their profile page

(Added July 20 — ) One final note, we had previously written about one of the scammers from Mindanao, Rosebel (also known as many other names) — here is our previous entry about the scammer Rosebel Fajardo from Mindanao.  After a hiatus, she (or “she” as the case may be, we have no idea of the true identity or identities) has resurfaced, creating at least two profiles in the past week here on our site, one going by “Kiszle” and another as “Lady” but always using her same famous pictures, and lofty lies.  No doubt she’ll be back; we hope to catch her before her profile goes live, but if she tricks us and you notice her here again, please be sure to let us know!

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