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Posted on March 26,2013



I met someone in a cupid site that was last October 21,2012. We chatted each other, exchange ideas, txted in viber. Then he booked a flight here going to Philippines from a certain country in Maui hawaii. and then Last November 21-26 we meet each other. I took him in the airport with my friend and our driver all the way from Pangasinan. And then while driviving he was amazed with the jeepneys, tricycles, buses, then we ate near barbaras buffet for dinner. From there we are looking at each other. It was such an amazing thing ever happened because we felt the spark from the first. Weve been to H20 manila and had some fish spa, massage then rest. Then weve been to Tagaytay, he saw the beautiful places like peoples sky, Taal volcano, and feel the breeze of the weather. And then Have been to Tagaytay then afternoon november 23,2012 we went direct to Pangasinan. and while we are on our way to Pangasinan we are taking a lot of pictures in Pampanga which we loved it because thats the place where he's coworkmate living. he was so scared and dont know what to do on how to face my family. " what should i tell them? should i bless? etc...then finally we arrived home in our place. So from there I introduced him to my family. To my mom and daddy. And then we were so happy and he is not talking too much because he is shy. And then we had some nice dinner in Suratos binmaley Pangasinan where there are seafoods, bangus, shrimps etc. so my parents they like him so much because he is not arrogant like any other doctors. So they liked him for drinking soysauce and calamansi. and then after we went back and have seen the beautiful scenery of Capitol lingayen the pictures of General mc artuhur, and also the governors palace. and then we went back home and take a rest. The next Day we went to Baguio City and then have seen the SM baguiio, mines view, white house, the mansion and the next afternoon we traveled so quick in Pangasinan to be ready so we could come to Manila since his fkight is March 26,2012 so we have been to Midas hotel for an overnight stay and had some Breakfast buffet and also lunch before his flight back to hawaii. So the afternoon we spent time playing bowling before he dropped him back in the airport. I thought it will take him again to be back but DECEMBER he went back again from December 20- January 1 2013. and spent each other time to CEBU CROWN REGENCY he gave good christmas gifts to my family and also we have been to MOA for fireworks on New years countdown. And then his flight the next day to Maui... Then here we go again ...January 18-23 2013 he managed to go back again here in Philippines. I took a condo for rent so I will have a place to stay while im on P &G and at the same time it will be cheaper on his side if he will be with me in the condo. so for the week we are together...I cooked, we watched TV together, sleep together in one bed, but we didnt make love. And then We eat together and hangout.. OH by the way he gave me an engagement ring last December but i only gave him electric guitar and personalized items such as mug, clocks and tumbler, cake since thats what i can only afford. Then February 18-23 2013 he went back again in philippines from maui and we spent each other time and plans for getting married.. He realized that getting married here in the philippines will take a longer time for me to be in his country and so he wanted to make it fast by fiance visa.. then the last week of February...he booked a flight going here in Manila last March 18-25..but 2 hours before his flight he canceled everything. He didnt come. We had some arguments from disrespects.. and sometimes even if we are just joking for him its disrespects. which he realized that everything is getting faster because he doesnt know me.. he doesnt know when  im making jokes, he doesnt know when im mad.. he doesnt know anything...And so too much arguments that leads into broken promises..and so it happened..we didnt get married...So its the painful thing that ever happened to me because he is a doctor and im a nurse..I canceled my flight going to bahrain just to be with him but everything went into nothing..Issues are money because he spents a lot for me traveling, and paying some stuffs and I cannot give anything. Only i can share is my time, that he is welcome in our family, I introduced him to our family, I cooked for him, clean his place, and most of all my full trust with him..since he is a divorced man with 5 kids.and so its a big thing that somehow i accepted him. in my heart and in my mind that past is nothing to long as we love each other.. But now everything turns out into a nightmare.. that it seems that we dont know each other, problems were just left like that.. No emails, no calls, no txt...i tried to put myself down just for him. kneel down for my love..but he didnt bother to care no that is my life...Leaving each other...

I guess I'm a geek, I read it.

I don't want to build up false hopes, but it seems like such a short time ago. We're still in March. I often say " The true test of a relationship comes if it can survive the bitter argument." Most times it's that first argument that's hardest to survive. What is it? You have a sarcastic sense of humor? Tease him about his big ears ? You were both getting to know each now face to face. It became a lot different, more sensitive. Seems to me that you both were trying really hard to get back comfortable with each other. Strike one, try again. Good luck.

I agree with Robert but do not give up, first think very hard on what it is that you have said to him that has hurt him so much. Remember the differences in your cultures remember too that from what you say money has something to do with this, remember that although western men appear to be very wealthy in the eyes of most Filipinos but in their own countries they are not wealthy. In America money is regarded as a very important thing people are judged by their wealth so he worked very hard for his education and worked very hard to get where he is financially. If you joke about his money or his education you are showing a great deal of disrespect in his eyes.

When I first started talking to Filipinas I met a girl called Richelle she was a little young but I thought I would see where things went and if nothing else we could be friends. She was very intelligent and I thought that I could mentor her as she wanted to do medicine in college and although I never went down that road as a young man I had similar ambitions. We became close we talked using Skype regularly and in time we began to fall in love I resisted this because our age difference was too much but in time I began to lose my resistance. Then when I was looking into traveling to Leyte to meet her and her family she began to disrespect me. She said things to me that were very hurtful. She asked me questions that were designed to test my convictions and suggested that I was playing her along and that she was just one of many girls I was talking too. Not only was this not true, but her suggesting such things hurt me very deeply I had let this girl inside my guard and to be treated this way really hurt. On more than one occasion these discussions took place over Skype and I was reduced to tears, when she saw this she of course was shocked and apologised and was often reduced to tears herself.

I suspect that you may have fallen into a similar trap, you may have said or asked something that to you was completely innocent but to him it was insulting and suggested he has improper or lacked integrity in some way. This would have been unintentional on your part but he may not realise this and is reacting to the pain that has been caused. He sounds like an honourable man because as you said you slept in the same bed and he did not try to make love to you which show’s his respect for you.

I hope you can resolve it. Perhaps write him an email explaining how you feel about him and that you are happy to take things slowly so that you can both get to know each-other better and when he feels ready then move on at whatever pace he wants.

Remember as Robert says it has only been 4 months since you first began talking. I am beginning to feel very serious about my GF Sarah that I met online but we have been talking for 18 months and have not met in person yet….

Another Geek!!!

I can feel how you feel, Rose...but I know you are a strong woman for trying to face life!

Every STRUGGLE in your life has shaped you into a person you are today.Be THANKFUL for the hard times; They can only make you STRONGER! good luck and God bless you, Rose!


sorry to hear that too. sad story. if i were you, stick here on this site, be sure to find out if he is  truly have christ in his heart because a man that has fear God will never break your heart if he truly loves you as christ is the center of your relationship..

OK, I'm half-geek! I 'scanned' your post really quickly. Sorry, I'm in a hurry now to go to work.... I feel so sad that it happened... but planning to get married after knowing someone for a few months I think is too soon. I think there will be no problem if both parties have a very strong sense of commitment - willing to stay in a relationship and work hard to make it work; but it is going to be very hard that I'm thinking if it's possible. I'm really wishing you the best. How are you now? I understand it's very painful :( I hope that things will be better soon; if not with him, with someone else who's right for you.

OH YEAH am another geek...LOL

Wow... Its possible that ur love story hasn't ended yet... no american in his practical mind especially when US economy is in bad shape right now will invest several trips just to know you and your family before asking you in marriage and not even demanding that you reciprocate by giving up your virtue. i say he is commendable. I have experienced the sensitivity of the foreign man where disrespect is concern yet to us is just a mere innocent prank or simply being frank of our observation... cultural differences and communication problem is one of major challenges we faced... this is simply resolved by the humility of saying sorry from the heart and praying for the person to be free from grudge and resentment and til he feels the pain no more... say what u want but be careful how u say it... after that a period of silence let him recover on his own... U will be amaze what prayers can do for you and for him. LOve is all about holding each others hand and never letting go... if u love him dont give up... he will feel ur sincerity unless it wasn't love right from the start.

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