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What's with all the single moms?!

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Posted on January 15,2014

Hi Alysa, Blessings to you, you are getting closer. But still not there yet.  The critical part you are missing is: in no place do you mention how to control hormones.  Young people may not have bf/gf in the sense of sleeping together.  But they absolutely DO have strong feelings for a particular person.  This is NORMAL.  Whether or not the parents know it is happening, and not withstanding their adamant statements to the contrary, it IS happening.  To dismiss it as easily controlled is our fatal mistake.  You cannot control these youthful feelings with discipline.  And these innocent "crushes" lead to single mom's.  And those feelings have bypassed your good recommendation of traditional courting ritual.

How to control hormones?  Without this element, your plan, ANY plan, is absolutely doomed to failure. Take care and God Bless!

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Peter said:

Hi Alysa, Blessings to you, you are getting closer. But still not there yet.  The critical part you are missing is: in no place do you mention how to control hormones.  Young people may not have bf/gf in the sense of sleeping together.  But they absolutely DO have strong feelings for a particular person.  This is NORMAL.  Whether or not the parents know it is happening, and not withstanding their adamant statements to the contrary, it IS happening.  To dismiss it as easily controlled is our fatal mistake.  You cannot control these youthful feelings with discipline.  And these innocent "crushes" lead to single mom's.  And those feelings have bypassed your good recommendation of traditional courting ritual.

How to control hormones?  Without this element, your plan, ANY plan, is absolutely doomed to failure. Take care and God Bless!


How to control hormones?

If I haven't controlled my hormones, I think and for sure I am having a child or children now at my age 35. Although to admit as being human, I fantasized (of course for this i sinned) being with intimate relationship with the opposite sex at time or the past years, I chose not to engage. Because my parents planted my innocent mind the outcome will be. The attitude to control the state of our being. That I believe we can.

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Alysa said:

How to control hormones?

If I haven't controlled my hormones, I think and for sure I am having a child or children now at my age 35. Although to admit as being human, I fantasized (of course for this i sinned) being with intimate relationship with the opposite sex at time or the past years, I chose not to engage. Because my parents planted my innocent mind the outcome will be. The attitude to control the state of our being. That I believe we can.


Yes I know you have controlled your hormones, and that's great, sincere congratulations, but my question is how our society can control the hormones of young people?  And the answer is that you can't.  Yes SOME people can, but the weak cannot. 

And a really attractive girl will receive a LOT of attention from handsome guys, who are clever enough to have figured out what to say and do to get the desired result.  And they are very persistant.  Very difficult for a young girl to resist a sweet talking handsome guy.  The end result is a single mom.  So we need a system that can help those weak people control their hormones and youthful feelings. 

How to do it? 

Take care and God Bless!

on January 16, 2014 1 likes

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Anjee said:

blame it on the hippie generation who brought too much broken marriages that one that followed the baby boomers were so afraid to get married and such trend followed suit...Fix yeah sure when man starts growing up faster, better and be more responsible... read tommy's thread... who is ur daddy? great essay and how fatherhood affects one's personality and its effect in society.    Man should start embracing their calling fromAdam's time to now he's still good in blame shifting.


I am beginning to like your particpation more and more Anjee. Anyway, I have few questions to all.

1. Can a woman become a mommy without a man? Think about it.

2. And where the men when the woman need him to raise their children? Nowhere to be found.

3. Why is she called single mom? No man to be called Daddy..

4. Who to blame? Man? naaahh we can't blame a man..a woman? hmmm not sure! maybe...ahaaaa! the media or fiminism or poverty or etc..etc..to be blamed. Its funny when we dont face reality and take responsibility.

I dont really think we blame everybody and anything else except the man who made the girl/ woman pregnant. Does this make sense? Thanks!

on January 16, 2014 2 likes

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Tess said:

 

Anjee said:

blame it on the hippie generation who brought too much broken marriages that one that followed the baby boomers were so afraid to get married and such trend followed suit...Fix yeah sure when man starts growing up faster, better and be more responsible... read tommy's thread... who is ur daddy? great essay and how fatherhood affects one's personality and its effect in society.    Man should start embracing their calling fromAdam's time to now he's still good in blame shifting.


I am beginning to like your particpation more and more Anjee. Anyway, I have few questions to all.

1. Can a woman become a mommy without a man? Think about it.

2. And where the men when the woman need him to raise their children? Nowhere to be found.

3. Why is she called single mom? No man to be called Daddy..

4. Who to blame? Man? naaahh we can't blame a man..a woman? hmmm not sure! maybe...ahaaaa! the media or fiminism or poverty or etc..etc..to be blamed. Its funny when we dont face reality and take responsibility.

I dont really think we blame everybody and anything else except the man who made the girl/ woman pregnant. Does this make sense? Thanks!


Hi Tess,

At last I have a chance now to say "HI" to you. Hope you're doin great.

Good thoughts there;

I have this idea not to blame the man who seduced the woman. There's a famous saying; No con men will thrive when every women are alert.

The idea of blaming men thus shows to me to admit that men are much smarter than women. Nor women are too weak to be fooled by men; which is not acceptable for me.

It goes with; it takes two to tango. Which both have this mutual decision to do so. Withought knowing the pros and cons, and directly get dwelled unto the fire. Which mostly women get burned.

Where I really still strongly believe that both should be responsible enough, and to each revelations of responsibilities coming from their so called homes.

Again hi there Tess, just this time I got a chance to say this "Hi."

Regards,

Alysa

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Unfortunately up to now, no one has proposed any ideas for a system which helps to control the hormones and feelings of young people (both boys and girls).  Therefore, there can be no improvement and we will continue to spiral downward.  Take care and God Bless!

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Peter said:

Unfortunately up to now, no one has proposed any ideas for a system which helps to control the hormones and feelings of young people (both boys and girls).  Therefore, there can be no improvement and we will continue to spiral downward.  Take care and God Bless!


Mr. Peter,

I may not understood well your point, since we both know hormones doesn't have stable state. It arises at times and has to be released.

Now to divert that state of arising, may I suggest to engage this young ones where they able to get busy with. Like involving them to sports. Or any suggestions of food intakes on their diets to help lower the hormones or remain stable (but I guess it won't happen to remain stable). Or maybe to engage them into religious gatherings, bible study and so on. And keeping their minds/mindset busy.

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Hey, blessed Alysa, hi to you too! I agree with you, but my point is, whatever actions jointly committed with two parties has Consequinces that bears great responsibility which supposedly be shared by both who did it as well. I don’t agree when leaving it all for the woman to handle on her own which I often see and observed. But men always have excuse! or way of escape because society brand them “Men!” even how many times you twist and turn a man he is still a man”. It is a woman need to be careful because she is a woman a weaker vessel true both shared the act. But from Genesis through revelations God always said about men to protect women "insticntively men knows that". The parents also has no more grip on the reality their children are facing they are beginning to accept it as a norm, because the media is pushing it to them that it is acceptable but as Christians, media are not our role model, our belief in God is...

Why, I emphasized it more for a man to face the responsibility? Because as Christians God put the man next to him as covering for a woman a weaker vessel to protect, love and care.. It’s not fair for a woman to bear all the responsibility in raising the child, while the man will just shake legs and look for another prey when their hormones goes up again. I don’t see it as fair for the single mom to face ridicule or labeling by society because they made a wrong decision in love? When we start saying it takes “two to tango” and leave it there, not pointing “who are these two pairs dances with the music” that’s how the problem remain unsolved. What about the man who did it, can we also label them pervert? Why not? They committed the act! But if our men stand up and face their responsibility maybe many of our young men and women learned to be more responsible to take their action seriously. 

Those days during our grandparents era man had high regards on their women. They stand up and offer the seat for the women and open the door for them too! They accept their responsibility to their children with another woman. But now a days even those who have children with their wives dont recognize that why?

It’s not fair when the woman work to feed the children while the man drinks and be happy with their friends, which many in our society, why? Sometimes women changed because of the men who created the situation to change. What I am trying to stress here is that, there are many reasons where the “Single Mom” came from...we can’t really generalized the origin or caused why? We need to be balance as much as possible to look into the real caused of them why they exist in our society. Besides this is not new it’s always there all centuries. But, I appreciate our single mom, for one thing. They never throw their child in the garbage can just to please the society’s idea of good women. They have the opportunity but they love their child and they fear God. I worked once with single mothers. I cried listening to some of their stories. Those who have regretted and changed have only one wish, that their child has a father to look up to. But God said He is the father of their child. That’s comforting isn’t it? God bless. 

on January 16, 2014 3 likes

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Tess said:

..cut..
What I am trying to stress here is that, there are many reasons where the “Single Mom” came from...we can’t really generalized the origin or caused why?  ..cut..

Hi Tess, I don't think this is true at all.  If someone took a survey, the top 5 reasons, covering 95+% of the cases, could be easily known.  My uninformed guess would be 5% due to accidental death of the man, 95% due to getting involved with the wrong man.  Notice I am not placing any blame on anyone.  Just making an impartial observation.  Please don't get upset and say it is the not the woman's fault.  No one is saying it is.

What are some of the reasons that you heard in the stories from the women?  Take care and God Bless!

 

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Peter said:

 

Tess said:

..cut..
What I am trying to stress here is that, there are many reasons where the “Single Mom” came from...we can’t really generalized the origin or caused why?  ..cut..

Hi Tess, I don't think this is true at all.  If someone took a survey, the top 5 reasons, covering 95+% of the cases, could be easily known.  My uninformed guess would be 5% due to accidental death of the man, 95% due to getting involved with the wrong man.  Notice I am not placing any blame on anyone.  Just making an impartial observation.  Please don't get upset and say it is the not the woman's fault.  No one is saying it is.

What are some of the reasons that you heard in the stories from the women?  Take care and God Bless!

Oh no! I am not upset ofcourse, I welcome your observation. What I am trying to say is the responsibility of the children should be shared between women and men since they both committed the problem. I am not talking about the dead or widowed, that is understandable ofcourse. That is why I said, we dont know the stories behind why they are single mother. I believed it's not only because they choose to fall in the hands of a wrong man. And if there is any thoughts more than what I observed myself then I welcome it.God bless.

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Tess said:
..cut..I believed it's not only because they choose to fall in the hands of a wrong man. And if there is any thoughts more than what I observed myself then I welcome it.God bless.

Yes, it's not only because they choose to fall in the hands of a wrong man.  But what other reasons?  Let's hear from some of the single moms.  Take care and God Bless!

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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OK I just noticed this other thread about reasons for separating:

https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=31974

Correct me if I am wrong, but all the reasons I saw could be summarized as getting involved with the wrong man.  I said this before, and people said no, there are other reasons.  What reasons?

Take care and God Bless!

Separated women with children, what were the main reasons why you were separated???? - See more at: https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=31974#sthash.kFIeyuJ4.dpuf

Separated women with children, what were the main reasons why you were separated????

Posted on January 07,2014

 
 
 0  0
- See more at: https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=31974#sthash.kFIeyuJ4.dpuf
Separated women with children, what were the main reasons why you were separated???? - See more at: https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=31974#sthash.kFIeyuJ4.
Separated women with children, what were the main reasons why you were separated???? - See more at: https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=31974#sthash.kFIeyuJ4.dpuf

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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By Choice....I think this is the simplest answer I can give. I'm a single mother, I have a stable enough career. I'm not married, nor do I plan on marrying for now, if ever. I'm sure other women are the same way. Some call these women selfish, but if she's caring for and loving a child while successfully attending to the child's needs, what could be so selfish about that?

God bless!

 

on January 16, 2014 3 likes

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Ok. Here's my point of view as a single mom:

1. We cant control the raging hormones of teenagers nor the adults.

2. Since we cant control those hormones which is particularly happening inside our body, as a citizen, what can we contribute to divert the attentions of the young ones who is in the stage of discovering?

3. Sex education is one good example. Why they introduce it in the curriculum? So young ones will be aware of what is happening, what will be the consequences and what exactly will happen in their future.

4. Parenting. For sure all moms and dads will be tackling these issues to their kids. How? According to their experienced and they will set an example (eg. See our neighbour blah blah blah). But, still they cant hold their kids mind. 

5. Are single moms can have a second chance to love and be love in return?

6. Why are we dominating this site? Simple, we are still human. 

Will list for other points. For the meantime, I have to work still :)

 

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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I've noticed 3 times when a woman will come to or come back to church. When they get pregnant before marriage, when they get divorced and have children, and when they suddenly find themselves with teen-agers (especially girls) that they haven't taught about God when they were younger.

  So realize that life situations will bring people to God. It's not necessarily the devout sinning in abundance.

on January 16, 2014 1 likes

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