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Separated women with children, what were the main reasons why you were separated????

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Posted on January 07,2014

I'm just curious......thanks

on January 7, 2014 0 likes

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Raquel, what do you mean by separated women with children? Do you mean the married women who are separated from their husband or the single mums?

we tackle the first one- married women separated from their husband with children.  There is a thousand and one reason why married women decides to separate from their husband.

1) she is a battered wife

2) the husband left his first family and took another woman

3) the husband must be polygamous

4) they have differences which  are irreconcilable

these are mostly the reasons why women prefers to get out  of marriage. Though faced with uncertainties on the future of her kids, she now ventures on her own trying to find peace in her heart and tranquility for the kids. 

on January 7, 2014 2 likes

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Thank you Ma'am Teresita and what I mean here is whether married or unmarried women who bore children from the certain man........

on January 7, 2014 0 likes

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Hello. Excuse me if I am hijacking your thread...

But... if youre involved with a separated person... are you committing adultery? is it a sin to get involved/have a relationship with separated people?

on January 8, 2014 1 likes

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jo said:

Hello. Excuse me if I am hijacking your thread...

But... if youre involved with a separated person... are you committing adultery? is it a sin to get involved/have a relationship with separated people?


You are correct Jo and this is explicitly stated in the bible and one of the most important and controversial teaching among Christians.

Luke 16:18

Divorce and Remarriage

 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery"

This is how I understand this teaching in a Christian perspective...

You can leave your husband/wife but you should never look for his replacement and you cannot remarry or co-habitate with another person most esp. if this person is likewise separated or divorced from his/her husband/wife. 

Death of a partner is the only way for you to be totally free you from the bond of marriage. What God has join together, let no man put asunder. 

I know this is hard and some will say, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

 

on January 8, 2014 2 likes

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Teresita said:

Raquel, what do you mean by separated women with children? Do you mean the married women who are separated from their husband or the single mums?

we tackle the first one- married women separated from their husband with children.  There is a thousand and one reason why married women decides to separate from their husband.

1) she is a battered wife

2) the husband left his first family and took another woman

3) the husband must be polygamous

4) they have differences which  are irreconcilable

these are mostly the reasons why women prefers to get out  of marriage. Though faced with uncertainties on the future of her kids, she now ventures on her own trying to find peace in her heart and tranquility for the kids. 


I was a battered wife and the second major reason I can't again go through the agony of telling it and post it as well ,maybe when I found someone I would tell him everything about why I decided to separate before I would commit myself to him.

on January 8, 2014 0 likes

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Hi Sue and Jo

I would add a couple of points here that are important for us to understand. It is written in the Ten Commandments, "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14). Jesus said, "Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 5:31-32). Sex outside marriage is sin and sex with someone who is married to another person is sin. But if a spouse commits the sin of adultery, or as Jesus refers to it sexual immorality, Jesus said the one who has been sinned against can divorce the sinful spouse.

We need to keep a sound biblical perspective on this matter because it is written, "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, ...will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10). There are extremely serious eternal consequences for being caught up in sins involving sexual immorality of any kind.

Although some disobey God and sin in this manner, praise God for the blood sacrifice of the Saviour, Jesus Christ who has paid the price in full to redeem His people from sin and death. The passage in 1 Corinthians 6 continues; "And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God" (v:11). What a wonderful Saviour Jesus Christ is to have paid the sin debt for sinners who were caught up in such wickedness!

Best wishes. Steve

Sue said:

 

jo said:

Hello. Excuse me if I am hijacking your thread...

But... if youre involved with a separated person... are you committing adultery? is it a sin to get involved/have a relationship with separated people?


You are correct Jo and this is explicitly stated in the bible and one of the most important and controversial teaching among Christians.

Luke 16:18

Divorce and Remarriage

 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery"

This is how I understand this teaching in a Christian perspective...

You can leave your husband/wife but you should never look for his replacement and you cannot remarry or co-habitate with another person most esp. if this person is likewise separated or divorced from his/her husband/wife. 

Death of a partner is the only way for you to be totally free you from the bond of marriage. What God has join together, let no man put asunder. 

I know this is hard and some will say, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

 


 

on January 8, 2014 1 likes

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Hi Ms Sue, I am confused, really confused. So anyone that is divorced and remarried already are sinners? And anyone who left their spouse were okay as long as they're not looking for a replacement? Is it not a sin at all? I find it hard to accept that it's okay to just turn your back on your spouse and child and live your life alone. 

Then why are there lots of divorced people here? I mean no offense, just need enlightenment.

Sue said:

Luke 16:18

Divorce and Remarriage

 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery"

This is how I understand this teaching in a Christian perspective...

You can leave your husband/wife but you should never look for his replacement and you cannot remarry or co-habitate with another person most esp. if this person is likewise separated or divorced from his/her husband/wife. 

Death of a partner is the only way for you to be totally free you from the bond of marriage. What God has join together, let no man put asunder. 

I know this is hard and some will say, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

 


 

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Same here, I am confused too... the majority of men here are divorced... and I have never been married... so if I marry a divorced man... am I committing adultery???

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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I believe if my exwife re marries, I am now free to remarry. Best way to be unconfused is to study the scriptures and let the holy spirit guide you to understanding truth.  

on January 16, 2014 1 likes

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I am very confuse as well, i am separated myself and god knows how i tried to work things between us, i beg and kneel in front of him to chose me rather than his mistress but he still left me anyway. Now it has been long 5 years and finally moved on, i was contemplating and realized maybe i made a mistake of marrying him and since annulment is expensive does it mean i have to live alone and suffer the mistakes i have done in the past for the rest of my life?  Would it be a mortal sin if i fall in love again while im still separated? 

Sue said:

 

jo said:

Hello. Excuse me if I am hijacking your thread...

But... if youre involved with a separated person... are you committing adultery? is it a sin to get involved/have a relationship with separated people?


You are correct Jo and this is explicitly stated in the bible and one of the most important and controversial teaching among Christians.

Luke 16:18

Divorce and Remarriage

 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery"

This is how I understand this teaching in a Christian perspective...

You can leave your husband/wife but you should never look for his replacement and you cannot remarry or co-habitate with another person most esp. if this person is likewise separated or divorced from his/her husband/wife. 

Death of a partner is the only way for you to be totally free you from the bond of marriage. What God has join together, let no man put asunder. 

I know this is hard and some will say, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

 


 

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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I have been separated for more than 4 years now, no 3rd party involve. Both of us remain faithful in the name of our marriage and for the children up to the end of our relationship.

It was I who ended up our marriage after 21 years of togetherness. It was a very tough decision, I should have done it earlier but I waited for the children to grow up for them to understand the reason why mom and dad has to bid goodbye to each other.

I just don't understand my husband anymore, it wasn't no longer the same man I used to love before, he was hiding his real identity over the years and discovering it broke my heart.

Yes! physically he hurts me, but what is more painful is the thought of being tied up to him and I just can't let go because of our "vow" and its legality.

But I realized it was just a matter of being true to your self that no matter how we tried to fix it, it just don't work anymore. And that I have to be realistic about it.

I pack up my things, leave and all the kids with me. There are a lot of reasons why marriage has to end. some can be told and the rest would be untold because of its secrecy, protecting ones dignity.

on January 16, 2014 1 likes

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Hi Jo, Apol and Che, 

For your confusions, We have a previous topic here about divorce/annuled by Ms Flerida and this is her share 

https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=13691

The only ground for which one may divorce his or her spouse is marital unfaithfulness. This is the simple, plain meaning of Jesus' words in Matthew 19:9- "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." That is, divorce is allowed if your mate is guilty of marital unfaithfulness. But if you divorce for any other reason and remarry, it is you who commits adultery. This is likewise the meaning of Jesus' similar statement in the Sermon on the Mount:

"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress [if she remarries], and anyone who marries the divorced woman [a woman who has been divorced for something short of unchastity] commits adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

Jesus' teaching is clear. Some of the interpretations of these texts are unbelievably convoluted, but we must hold to the plain, unadorned sense of the text. Jesus meant what he said!

 

Some object that these exception clauses don't jibe with Jesus' teaching in two other Gospel passages, Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18, which contain no exception clauses. For instance, Mark records:

 

He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

 

No exception clauses! Because of this, some have argued that Mark represents the earlier and pure teaching of Jesus, but Matthew contains a scribal addition of the exception clause and is thus unauthentic. However, we must hold that it is authentic because none of the ancient manuscripts omit it — all of them have it. Why the difference between the Gospels of Matthew and Mark then? John Stott gives the answer:

It seems far more likely that its [the exception clause's] absence from Mark and Luke is due not to their ignorance of it but to their acceptance of it as something taken for granted. After all, under the Mosaic Law adultery was punishable by death (although the death penalty for this offense seems to have fallen into disuse by the time of Jesus); so nobody would have questioned that marital unfaithfulness was a just ground for divorce.

 

The Lord Jesus Christ permitted divorce and remarriage on one ground and one ground only — marital unfaithfulness.

 

But notice that he permitted it — he did not command it. If you learn that your mate has been having an adulterous affair, it does not follow that you have license to seek a divorce. Too often men and women eagerly pounce on the infidelity of their mates as the opportunity to get out of a relationship they wanted to end anyway. It is so easy to minimize one's own behavior and to maximize the sins of the other party. Many look for a way out instead of a way through the problems.

 

Jesus' exception clauses should be viewed like this: No matter how rough things are, regardless of the stress and strain, whatever is said about compatibility and temperament, nothing allows for divorce except unfaithfulness — and even then it is not to be used as an excuse to get out of the relationship. Marital relationship is supremely sacred.Nothing can sever it but unrepentant unfaithfulness — and then it is not an excuse for ending the marriage but is the sorrowful ground of divorce.

 

Today even Christian counselors are recommending divorce and remarriage on grounds that are in opposition to the clear teachings of Christ. The sanctity of marriage has been corrupted by Christ's own church and his authority flouted. Marriage has been trivialized into a provisional sexual union that dissolves when our puny love gives out. But this is not the way the righteous person approaches marriage. According to Christ, marriage demands total commitment that only death or the most flagrant, ongoing sexual infidelity can bring to an end.

 

Having seen Christ's teaching, the question now is, does the Bible say anything else about divorce? The answer is yes.

 

- See more at: https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=13691#sthash.fwmvf5Bj.dpuf

on January 16, 2014 1 likes

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Hi Ms. Ellen,

Thanks for this post.  I am truly enlightened as I have also questions in my mind regarding divorce and what is the Biblical truth on this matter...

Ellen said:

Hi Jo and Apol, 

For your confusions, We have a previous topic here about divorce/annuled by Ms Flerida and this is her share 

https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=13691

The only ground for which one may divorce his or her spouse is marital unfaithfulness. This is the simple, plain meaning of Jesus' words in Matthew 19:9- "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." That is, divorce is allowed if your mate is guilty of marital unfaithfulness. But if you divorce for any other reason and remarry, it is you who commits adultery. This is likewise the meaning of Jesus' similar statement in the Sermon on the Mount:

"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress [if she remarries], and anyone who marries the divorced woman [a woman who has been divorced for something short of unchastity] commits adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

Jesus' teaching is clear. Some of the interpretations of these texts are unbelievably convoluted, but we must hold to the plain, unadorned sense of the text. Jesus meant what he said!

 

Some object that these exception clauses don't jibe with Jesus' teaching in two other Gospel passages, Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18, which contain no exception clauses. For instance, Mark records:

 

He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

 

No exception clauses! Because of this, some have argued that Mark represents the earlier and pure teaching of Jesus, but Matthew contains a scribal addition of the exception clause and is thus unauthentic. However, we must hold that it is authentic because none of the ancient manuscripts omit it — all of them have it. Why the difference between the Gospels of Matthew and Mark then? John Stott gives the answer:

It seems far more likely that its [the exception clause's] absence from Mark and Luke is due not to their ignorance of it but to their acceptance of it as something taken for granted. After all, under the Mosaic Law adultery was punishable by death (although the death penalty for this offense seems to have fallen into disuse by the time of Jesus); so nobody would have questioned that marital unfaithfulness was a just ground for divorce.

 

The Lord Jesus Christ permitted divorce and remarriage on one ground and one ground only — marital unfaithfulness.

 

But notice that he permitted it — he did not command it. If you learn that your mate has been having an adulterous affair, it does not follow that you have license to seek a divorce. Too often men and women eagerly pounce on the infidelity of their mates as the opportunity to get out of a relationship they wanted to end anyway. It is so easy to minimize one's own behavior and to maximize the sins of the other party. Many look for a way out instead of a way through the problems.

 

Jesus' exception clauses should be viewed like this: No matter how rough things are, regardless of the stress and strain, whatever is said about compatibility and temperament, nothing allows for divorce except unfaithfulness — and even then it is not to be used as an excuse to get out of the relationship. Marital relationship is supremely sacred.Nothing can sever it but unrepentant unfaithfulness — and then it is not an excuse for ending the marriage but is the sorrowful ground of divorce.

 

Today even Christian counselors are recommending divorce and remarriage on grounds that are in opposition to the clear teachings of Christ. The sanctity of marriage has been corrupted by Christ's own church and his authority flouted. Marriage has been trivialized into a provisional sexual union that dissolves when our puny love gives out. But this is not the way the righteous person approaches marriage. According to Christ, marriage demands total commitment that only death or the most flagrant, ongoing sexual infidelity can bring to an end.

 

Having seen Christ's teaching, the question now is, does the Bible say anything else about divorce? The answer is yes.

 

- See more at: https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=13691#sthash.fwmvf5Bj.dpuf


 

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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Hi Jona,

You're Welcome, please read the whole thread you may learn more from it.  https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=13691#sthash.LUn7XCbb.dpuf

God bless!

Jona said:

Hi Ms. Ellen,

Thanks for this post.  I am truly enlightened as I have also questions in my mind regarding divorce and what is the Biblical truth on this matter...

- See more at: https://www.christianfilipina.com/forum/thread.php?id=31974&page=1#sthash.y5e2uu0p.dpuf

on January 16, 2014 0 likes

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