Location: Huntington Beach, CA, United States
Pizza Love ❤️
People use the word love a lot of different ways. Take me, for instance. I am often heard saying that I love my mom and dad. I am also often heard saying that I love pizza.
What am I saying when I say I love my mom and dad? I'm saying that I care about them. I'm saying that I love spending time with them and that I talk to them every chance I get. I'm saying that if they needed me, I would do every humanly possible to help them. I'm saying that I always want what's best for them.
What am I saying when I say I love pizza? Am I saying that I care deeply about pizza? Am I saying that I have a relationship with pizza? Am I saying that if pizza had a problem, I would be there for the pizza? (What? Not enough pepperoni? I will be right there!)
Of course not. When I say I love pizza, I'm just saying that I enjoy eating pizza until I do not want any more pizza. Once I'm tired of the pizza, I do not care what happens to the rest of it. I will throw it away. I will feed it to the dog. I will stick it in the back of the refrigerator until it gets all green and moldy. It doesn't matter to me anymore. These are two very different definition of the word 'love'.
It gets confusing when people start talking about love, and especially about loving you. Which way do these people love you? Do they want what is best for you, or do they just want you around because it is good for them, and they do not really care what happens to you?
Next time someone looks deeply into your eyes and says 'I love you', look very deeply right back and say, would that be pizza love, or the real thing?
We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love. We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. You cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.
From time to time, sit close to the one you love, hold his or her hand, and ask, Darling, do I understand you enough? Or am I making you suffer? Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly. I do not want to make you suffer, and if I do so because of my ignorance, please tell me so that I can love you better, so that you can be happy. If you say this in a voice that communicates your real openness to understand, the other person may cry. That is a good sign, because it means the door of understanding is opening and everything will be possible again
We need courage to ask these questions, but if we do not ask, the more we love, the more we may destroy the people we are trying to love. True love needs understanding. With understanding, the one we love will certainly flower